Safe Socializing: Identifying and Avoiding Toxic Patterns

College social gatherings are often viewed as a rite of passage, depicted in TV shows, movies and music as a lifestyle filled with socializing and freedom. Parties can offer space where students can connect and unwind away from the stressors that college can bring. At the same time, they can also create environments where unhealthy relationship patterns develop and become normalized.

Whether you are a student, faculty or staff member, it’s important to recognize these dynamics and understand their potential effects.

Some gatherings among young adults involve alcohol or drug use, as well as peer pressure. Such behaviors can result in:

• Mental health struggles
• Disrespected boundaries
• Physical safety concerns
• Unhealthy or harmful relationship dynamics

What are some common unhealthy patterns in relationships to look out for?

• Coercion or peer pressure – feeling pressured to do something that you do not want to do
• Power imbalances – differences in age, status or intoxication that affect consent
• Emotional manipulation – using guilt, isolation, or control to influence someone’s behavior
• Normalization – accepting harmful behaviors as “normal” (For example, “This is what you’re supposed to do in college” or “Everyone else is doing it.”)

How can these unhealthy patterns impact you?

Experiencing these unhealthy patterns can lead to increased stress, shame, anxiety and isolation. It can also lead to questioning self-esteem. An unhealthy relationship can also impact sleep, focus and energy.

All of these can also impact your academic performance and your relationships with others.

Some signs to look out for are:

• Changes in behavior
• Social withdrawal
• Academic performance change
• Self-esteem issues

Promoting Healthy Culture

As students, it is important to look out for yourself and your fellow students. Here is how you can help:

• Learn the red flags of unhealthy relationships.
• Trust your instincts and speak up if something feels wrong.
• Set and communicate your boundaries clearly – real friends will respect them.
• Check in with friends to make sure they feel safe and supported.

Ways to intervene:

• Direct: Ask the person directly if they’re OK or need help.
• Delegate: Alert a trusted authority figure who is nearby.
• Distract: Create a distraction to de-escalate the situation. (For example, asking someone if they can help you find the bathroom.)

These are some bystander intervention tactics that can be used if you are seeing a situation escalate. Only intervene if you know it will be safe for you and people around you.

Resources and Support

If you or your peer needs additional support, UA has resources available:

• Camellia Center
• Counseling Center
• UAPD
• Student Care & Well-Being
• Title IX

Knowing where to turn can make a big difference. Recognizing patterns is important to help foster a safe campus environment for everyone. We share a responsibility to help everyone feel safe, supported and valued in our community and on our campus.